Pardon our dust

The management of The Padawan Pause apologizes for the prolonged absence of content from this blog — the people responsible for sacking the people doing the sacking have been sacked.

Apologies for blatant plagiarism to Monty Python aside, visitors may expect a new look (overdue), and a hopefully more user-friendly focus and format.

More details to follow as time permits.

The Mgt.

Rumor confirmed

You can tell this isn't one of those blogs where people go for up-to-the-minute updates on fan topics. Last week (which is a horrible delay for someone who makes his living as a newsman), the president of Disney Parks confirmed several rumors, including a major princess-themed addition to Fantasyland at Walt Disney World. This is really good news for my readers who might be raising princesses-in-training. You know who you are.

At the same time, they confirmed that Star Tours II will be opening in 2011. It will include 3D technology, which I can attest that Disney rocks at. The promotion they did for the announcement naturally included a garrison from the 501st (who are becoming a bit too ubiquitous for my tastes), and an appearance from Darth Vader. The footage they showed included a first-person view of a podrace in 3D, which, I have to admit, would be incredibly awesome.

So, with a new Star Tours opening in 2011, and an expansion to Fantasyland in 2012, I think another trip to the Magic Kingdom is definitely going to fit into my travel plans within the next few years. As if it wasn't already...

ASWC — Actual Star Wars Content

As I try to wake up this morning, I am going to do something unprecedented for a blog called "The Padawan Pause" — I am going to put in a little Star Wars content. I am also going to be brief, which is something else I'm not too good at. I hope to do more of both in the future.

So, here we go — this just in! Our friends over at The Force.Net have a post stating that Celebration V has been confirmed for 2010. Why this is good news for anyone other than Star Wars collectors is, I believe, this — George tends to have the Celebrations around times when fan interest is the highest. In the past, this has meant right before the release of all three Prequel movies.

There has been very little coming down the Star Wars pipeline lately, so what this is about — other than an opportunity for GentleGiant to sell minibusts of characters whose names you don't know — is open to question. My current theory is that it will be part of the buildup for the new live-action television series, which I have heard from other sources (which I lack the time to document now) is gearing up in Australia at the moment. This may also explain the rumors of an upcoming announcement of a StarTours refresh that a lot of Disney geeks have been speculating about lately.

More news as I hear it.

Circling the airport

I've been waiting this week. Professionally.

I ordered a new MacBook Pro last Friday, which was, in itself, the culmination of many, many months of dreaming and scheming. Ordinarily, I would spend a couple paragraphs rhapsodizing about what I love about Apple computers: You know, why their Operating System is the best I've ever seen; how unbelievably great their quality is; how the MacBook Pro is, in my opinion, the gold standard for laptops; how I've wanted one for years; yada, yada, yada.

And mind you, I still may, if enough interest is shown. but I'm not here this morning to proselytize. I'm here to share some Genuinely Useful Information.

My job this week has been to monitor FedEx's overseas flights. In between this, I've managed to find time to cover events that resulted in three top-of-page-one stories for the paper I work for, so don't think I've been slacking off. But largely, my hourly routine has consisted of:

1. Check FedEx package tracking website.

2. Check actual location of FedEx cargo flights between Shanghai, Anchorage and/or Memphis.

3. Recheck FedEx package tracking website.

4. Perform the necessary time zone calculations.

5. Sigh in disappointment.

6. Go do something else to take my mind off the fact that my computer still hasn't left China.

7. Repeat.

With that kind of experience under my belt, I am proud to offer you, the reader, the benefit of what I've learned this week. To wit:

1. Shanghai, CN is not in Connecticut — I actually knew this one already, but a surprising amount of people don't. In fact, there's a blog dating back to January 2006 that includes dozens upon dozens of comments from otherwise intelligent and well-read people who were of the opinion that the CN abbreviation stood for Connecticut. In fact, a friend of mine who helped me unlock the intricacies of the FedEx delivery system initially made this same mistake himself, even though he'd had the same model computer ship from the same place three years earlier. Sadly, CN actually means China, or I would have had it by now.

2. Shanghai's airport is so far from the actual city they had to build a land rocket to take people there — To pass the the time, I decided the least I could do was learn a few things about the city where my computer had been born, so I did what any college-educated American would do: I read Wikipedia entries and watched YouTube videos. My favorite of the latter sort is a promotional video of the Pudong International Airport's high-speed maglev train. Basically, this is like the monorail that takes you to the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World, only it uses magnetic suspension instead of pneumatic tires, and goes 267 miles per hour instead of 30. My favorite part of the video is the train station segments. Apparently, it's someone's job to stand at attention and salute the train as it leaves and arrives.

3. The FAA prefix code for Anchorage airport is amusingly close to the word "Panic" — One of the first things I learned during this interminable wait is that a great circle route between the FedEx hubs in Shanghai and Memphis bisects Anchorage, Alaska almost exactly. Not surprisingly, a lot of cargo planes go through that airport every day. The second thing I learned was that four-letter code identifying the Ted Stevens International Airport is PANC, which I will forever read now as "panic." I'm not sure that you want people planning to fly to your city to think of the word "panic" in any context, but as long as I don't actually have to fly there myself, I don't have a problem with it.

4. FedEx has black hole generators or transporters mounted on all of its aircraft — This is the only explanation for the fact that on at least one occasion, a package arrived 12 hours before it left. Even accounting for the International Date Line, I couldn't reconcile some of the time changes that my poor MacBook has gone through on its journey to me without invoking theoretical physics. I once got a ground crew "In Transit" scan on my package when I know the flight it was supposed to be on was 25,000 feet above the Bering Sea. So the only thing I could come up with was black hole-powered time field generators, or in-flight transporter booths. Of course, it could also be linked to the next, more mundane, explanation (see below).

5. In FedEx speak, "In Transit" doesn't mean it's actually moving — I used to think that "In Transit" meant "in a truck" or "on a plane." No, no. "In Transit," in FedEx parlance, apparently means "between stages." This is the only reason that a package "in transit" would take a full day to go from "arrived at FedEx facility," to "in transit," to "departed FedEx facility." Foreknowledge of this could spare the reader the experience of having his hopes of early delivery crushed like an empty beer can under a biker's boot ("What do you mean 'it just left?' The web site has had it in transit for two days.")

6. FedEx likes their packages to soak up the local atmosphere before sending them on their way — This is the only explanation for the fact that my precious MacBook Pro sat around the Shanghai airport doing nothing for two days, and the Anchorage airport for one day. And don't tell me things like "they're probably very busy," and "your package isn't the only one they have to deliver," or "If you wanted it faster, why didn't you pony up the extra $15 for priority shipping?"

7. I'm lousy at waiting — But you probably caught that by now.

No news is good news

Well, it's been a riotous month here. My wife has returned to work, and next week my daughter goes back to school. I've been busy at work; not to the point of becoming stressed, but to the point of being so tired when I did return home, I lacked the necessary energy to post anything.

And really, there's been nothing new here to speak of. I am still in the process of learning about things that grow. I am walking regularly. I still trying to stay aware of what is around me. In short, I am still trying to appreciate this gift of life.

But there is one new thing. I am learning how to cook.

Now, when I type or say the phrase, "I am learning how to cook," it is always with a twinge of guilt that I do not know how to already. The plain fact is that my mother handled all the cooking duties until I moved out in college. When I was on my own, I either ate low-maintenance stuff like peanut butter & jelly sandwiches (which has long been a staple for me), or "heat-and-eats." I simply did not know how to take separate ingredients and combined them with heat to make a dish, and neither did I care to learn.

When I married, naturally, the cooking duties fell to my wife — duties she accepted more or less gracefully. Like many husbands, I have been greeted with the occasional idea that I could cook something for a change, or even just help prepare the meal. And even more occasionally, I would actually step up to the plate and do so. Say, like once a year. Maybe. If I felt like it.

Three weeks ago, I had a revelation (which I seem to be have a lot of lately). As most of you know, I have long been a devotee of the Canadian power trio Rush — to the point that if you asked me to sum up my musical identity in one artist, I would point to them without hesitation. I have seen them in concert 12 times, own every album they have ever released with the exception of three compilation CDs, and can't go for more than a couple months without listening to them. Simply put, I'm an addict.

One of the many great things about Rush is that their drummer, Neil Peart, is not only one of the greatest rock drummers who's ever lived (and that is not just fanboy blarney), but is a pretty durn good writer to boot. Peart posts regularly to his website in a regular column called "News, Weather & Sports." In it, Neil does much of what I do here, only better — he writes about his life. Since he's highly intelligent, impressively self-effacing for someone who's one of the most talented drummers currently walking planet earth, and possessing of a keen sense of humor, he's a genuine pleasure to read. His web site, www.neilpeart.net, has several interesting side features, including Bubba's Book Club, in which he talks about what's been on his reading table; and a new one — Bubba's Bar 'n Grill.

This second feature tackles another of Neil's passions — cooking. Before Neil learned to cook, he was probably more of a heater than a cooker — much like your humble narrator. The Bar 'n Grill feature of his website tells the story of how he learned to cook (a tale definitely worthy of a read), and offers recipes and general information for other Bubbas who, like him, found themselves in the alien environment of the kitchen at age 40. He waxes eloquently about his successes and disasters in the kitchen, and makes a subtle pitch for other "Bubbas" to get in there and try it for themselves. The website features information about the well-stocked kitchen, and gives a few of his favorite recipes at various skill levels for readers to try.

I don't know if was the way I empathized with Peart's fish-out-of-water approach to cooking, the fact that he was about the same age when he learned to cook that I am now, or what — something about the feature spoke to me in a huge way. And for the second time in as many months, a light bulb went off.

So, in addition to being a budding nature lover and gardener, I am now learning how to cook. After a few false starts of stupidly trying to do everything by myself, I have given myself over to the gentle tutelage of my wife, and am happy to be her personal sous chef. Right now, I'm on basic things like chopping, peeling, measuring and mixing things together. At the moment, I'm happy to just starting putting some basic skills under my belt, and it may be a long time before I "solo" on a dish, but if it is, I won't care too much. I have come to find, like hosts of families already know, that cooking, although work, is also fun, and a great way to spend time with your wife.

So far, as a cooking team, we've had a few successes — like the batch of improvised spinach puffs we made from a pasta sauce that wasn't working. We've also had some "back-to-the-drawing-board" experiences — like the salmon filets we made last night that, although made from a fresh cut of meat, didn't quite taste right when we got through with it. But no matter the outcome, it's been great fun, and I've been kicking myself for the time I lost when I could have been doing this.

Ah, well — live and learn.

Tempus Fugit

Today is an anniversary, of sorts. One year ago today, I overcame my fear of publicly posting things on the Internet, and started this blog. It began as a simple experiment, and was born of a desire to communicate with other members of my far-flung family. Since then, it has given me a chance to pontificate on things near and dear to my heart, and has allowed me continued practice in putting my thoughts and feelings down in a (hopefully) concise and accessible form. In other words, it has given me one more way to work at being a writer.

Today is the day before Independence Day, and since I will have to work for part of that day, I am dedicating most of my time today to relaxing and spending time with family. So this will be brief — doubly so, since I really don't have much to say at the moment.

One thing I will say, though, ere I leave you.

Fittingly, as I reach my one-year anniversary as a blogger, I have recently had it brought home to me how much I appreciated this medium I have been dabbling in for the past 365.2425 solar days (give or take). Earlier this week, I set up a Facebook account, so that I could communicate better with my sister and niece, both of whom are currently traveling in China. Before I knew it, I found myself with several friends, some who sought me out, and some whom I went looking for. And while I can see some advantages for the medium, all in all, my week or so on Facebook has mostly served to make me appreciate my blog all the more.

Facebook (and, I'm guessing, its ugly half-sister, Twitter), is very good at quickly throwing out bursts of information. Posts are one or two sentences at most, which is ideal for logging on, posting something new, reading all the new information that's been posted to your "Wall," and getting off.

Blogs, on the other hand, are more leisurely, and more time consuming. At least, this one has been. Most of my posts here in the past few months have taken the better part of a morning to write, post, and edit. (I should write, edit, then post, but I never manage to get that sequence right — I'm always catching things after the initial post). Even so-called "quick" posts like this one often take at least a half-hour or longer. To me, this is a good thing — writing shouldn't be rushed. For me, this has been my own personal editorial page; Facebook is more like an Internet page of public text messages — it may be conveying important information, but it isn't writing.

In the coming months, I will continue to explore the possibilities of Facebook, and maybe even a few others — if nothing else, to learn how to make them safe enough for my daughter to use, if that time ever comes. But in the meantime, I will always give my blog pride of place; it is both more personal, and because I have shared it with far fewer people, more private. And I continue to be grateful to my readers and friends for encouraging me to start it, and to continue it. I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you.

In the present moment

I went walking today. This is nothing unusual, especially for someone who is medically required to exercise if he doesn't want nasty things to happen to him. Again. I have a favorite walking trail two miles from my workplace, and it makes a nice break in the day to get away from work, and put myself in the midst of trees, water and sky. I liked to do this before my forced vacation, so, again, nothing unusual there.

What made today different is I noticed noticing things. The past two days, I stepped down onto the gravel track, and been met with the warm, moist smells of the vegetation; no doubt pounded into the air by the sun. I have been struck by plants I have walked by hundreds of times, yet am only now seeing. And I was very surprised today to learn just how much I enjoy tramping through the heat. It is, in a way, cathartic to feel the way my body responds to what are, frankly, dangerous levels of sun and humidity. I find myself responding to it the same way I do a hot bath, or a sauna. It was tiring, and a little draining. But I find I am beginning to enjoy exercise. Just a little.

On my commutes back and forth to work, I find myself seeing trees and plants that I have gone past before — in this case thousands of times — only now, I see them. Now, I care that they're there. The other day at choir, I had to take a moment, leave my seat, and walk down to a place where I could see the light playing through the stained glass windows. Just a minute ago, I finished off a long day at work by coming home and winding up on my knees in front of my trailer, helping my wife plant purple Iris bulbs. We were frantically digging in hard clay, trying to beat the storm clouds before they drenched us. It was hard work, more than a little tiring, and I loved every moment of it. Well, maybe not the part where the dogs kept trying to lay in the holes on top of the Irises so we'd pet them, but it didn't matter — I was gardening. I was finally unleashing my inner hobbit. Or, at least, a part of him I didn't give vent to in college.

The point of all this is that I seem to find myself alive these days. The Buddhists, who I admire a great deal, might call this condition awake. Mind you, I don't think I'm truly awake, by Buddhist standards. After all, I just powered through three southwest chicken tornados, seven cheese pizza roles and a grape popsicle I barely noticed — not a very mindful way of eating. But I suppose it's a start.

New loves, and old

I am in the midst of enjoying my Father's Day weekend, but wanted to take a break from being spoiled royally rotten to update my loyal readers on a couple of budding interests of mine (pun at least partially intended — see next paragraph).

As the prospect of returning to work loomed large on my horizon, I was suddenly struck with an appreciation of growing things. I have always loved nature, and find trees both comforting and fascinating — when I take the time to notice them, that is. And I have always regretted that I wasn't one of those people who spent their weekends canoeing, hiking or climbing things.

One morning, a couple of weeks ago, I was enjoying my wife's flower boxes on my front porch and the slight valley that is my privilege to view every day, when I was suddenly struck with the notion that this — the plants thriving under the morning sun and the birds wheeling in the sky in the valley — was what was real. The day-to-day things that we humans put importance on are often little more than complicated games compared to the world that God has put around us. If we were all to disappear tomorrow, the myriad of green, growing things, and the multitude of life moving and breathing amongst them, would continue with barely a blink. I actually found it to be a comforting notion, and I was reminded of Matthew 6: 26-34, most strongly the "consider the lilies of the field..." passage (although, as I re-read the passage while I'm typing this, I would been very moved by the part about the "fowls of the air," as I distinctly remember watching the birds soaring across the fields before me. It was a very strong lesson in the true place of anxiety and our often-misguided priorities in the face of God's kingdom, and I hope, a lasting one.

Since that moment, I have been cultivating an interest in things that grow (another pun — sorry 'bout that). I have started paying attention to the species of trees that surround me every day, thanks to a field guide loaned by my father, and I am slowly learning the types of flowers my wife has planted on the porch (and how to care for them). Not only that, but I have actually purchased two house plants, and am trying my best not to kill them. So far, they are cooperating by continuing to live.

In short, I think I might be in the nascent stages of becoming a gardener, but it's too soon to tell.

The other interest is in Le Mans Circuit racing. Briefly put, this is a type of racing in which four different classes of modified or purpose-built sports cars race at the same time. In two of the classes, GT1 and GT2, the cars are recognizable as coming from street-model cars like Corvettes and Porches. The other two (and my favorites) are "Le Mans prototypes," which feature cutting-edge engineering, new automotive technologies, and high top speeds. The circuit is based in Europe, and its jewel is the Le Mans 24 Hours, a venerable 24-hour road race held at the famous 8-½ mile Circuit de la Sarthe track in France. The race is made of about 55 teams of three drivers sharing one car, aided by a small army of mechanics and engineers, each trying to drive as far as possible in 24 hours.

I got hooked on the concept when I was on my back, after I watched a film called "Truth in 24." Available as a free download on iTunes, the film tells the story of last year's race. Something about the whole thing grabbed me, and I was fortunate enough to be able to watch about 10 hours of this year's race in between celebrating my daughter's birthday. Many people would find this tedious (including, apparently, the bulk of my countrymen, since it was virtually ignored outside of the Speed network). Not me. I was enchanted by the drama and flow of the race, and I am looking forward to following the rest of the season. I even have a favorite driver (Allan McNish of Scotland) and team (Audi Sport).

The discovery of Le Mans reminds me very much of the sort of excitement I felt many years ago, when I was a growing figure skating fan. I eventually fell away from that sport when it became clear that it would never shake itself free of the politics it was mired in — politics that often impacted the final results more than the quality of the skating. But the general emotions I'm feeling are the same — mostly excitement at just how much there is to learn about this new sport, and wonder at how much I'm enjoying it.

Finally, for the old. I have been pleasantly reminded of my past this week. My wife stumbled across a PBS showing of Chess in Concert. Chess is a musical — nearly an opera, really — about two world chess champions from the US and Soviet Union in the late 70s and early 80s. I became a fan after I was introduced to it by a friend (who also did a fair job of turning me into a fan of the game), and I subsequently introduced my fiancee to it. When we were on our honeymoon in England, we were fortunate enough to see it performed at the Prince Edward Theatre in the West End. In retrospect, having seen it at all is something of an accomplishment, since the show only lasted three years there, and a retooled version for Broadway audiences closed after only eight weeks.

Suffice it to say, the musical is a dear favorite of ours, both from a shared artistic fondness as well as a sentimental attachment. Our copy of the Chess CD seems to have taken a walk sometime in the past 21 years, and it was a delight to hear the songs again in such capable hands as Idina Mendez, Josh Groban and Adam Pascal — the latter of whom is in my opinion the best actor to play the American champion since Murray Head, who created the role. He may even be a little better, but don't tell Murray that.

Anyway, my wife and I are resolved that we have lived without the Chess soundtrack for far too long, and we intend to replace it this weekend. The only question we have to debate is whether we want the original, or this newer version. Decisions, decisions …

Always in motion is the future

I've spent a bit of time wandering the Internet this morning, and I've picked up a couple of useful tidbits about the future of Star Wars. This is an important topic to me, since for Star Wars to live as a product, there always has to be something real and tangible to look forward to. And by real and tangible, I mean screen product; video games and EU novels aren't going to do it. The Clone Wars is an acceptable stop-gap for now. There are a lot of stories to be told about the two-and-a-half years between Geonosis and Mustafar, and although we saw some nice battle sequences from this period in Clones and Sith, there is a lot more to tell. Granted, I would have preferred a live action, and one that was a little less kid-friendly, but since the current show is helping my daughter become a more enthusiastic fan of the Saga, I officially have no complaints.

The scuttlebutt I read today had to do with the coming live-action series, which is set in the much more promising time of the years between the Clone Wars and Episode IV. There are a lot of characters here that I want to see more of, like every rebel general and leader shown in the movies, as well as some Imperials. Ackbar, Piett, Tarkin — there's a lot of ground to cover here, and I'm much more interested in the stories that will be told here than I am in the Clone Wars saga. 

Beware: Mild Spoilers Ahead

So the news is that production for the new series is starting to ramp up, which means that pretty soon the Lucasfilm PR machine will start posting tidbits on the website about what is to come. As I alluded in my previous post, the folks at Lucasfilm are masters at building up anticipation for new screen product. Far from faulting them for it, I'm actually counting on it. So I am officially beginning to follow posts about where they might be filming (current rumors include Czechoslovakia and the old Mos Espa set in Tunisia, but nothing has been confirmed), and which actors will be cast. Again, the current news here is the actor who played Captain Typho may have a role. I'm just fine with this as long as it doesn't involve his uncle, Captain Downer…er, Tanaka. I didn't like his character, and from what little I heard in interviews, liked the actor playing him even less.

The other rumor I encountered was that production was beginning on Episodes VII-IX of the Star Wars Saga. Now, while the post I read quoted "very reliable" (but safely anonymous) sources, I have to chalk this one up to fan boy wishful thinking. George has said he will not make any more films, and wants to devote himself to other projects. So far, this means Red Tails, the story of the Tuskegee airmen, which is long overdue for a big-screen treatment. I really think that George is content to let others mine the gold of the Star Wars universe for a time, both literally and figuratively, and concentrate on other projects, albeit at a leisurely pace.

But this got me thinking: if it were true, would we even want to see Episodes VII-IX? Granted, I have always wanted to see what Master Skywalker, General Solo and Premier Organa-Solo (or would it be Master Organa-Solo?) would look like. Of these, I am most intrigued by what Han would have become in the years after the fall of the Empire. Although originally not a fan of the character, I have lately been very intrigued by the journey that Han Solo undergoes in the original trilogy as originally released. I am very interested in what would become of him in later years. In my mind, I see a distinguished but still somewhat cynical figure with a greying goatee, but that's just me.

Next would be Leia; I have always wanted to see what she would look like as a Jedi, and have always wanted to know how her own Jedi education progressed. Oddly, the EU canon never got around to exploring that except in the most intangible, peripheral way (at least in the books that I read), which is another reason I don't like the EU. They are much more interested in portraying Leia as a galactic soccer mom who runs the New Republic on the side, which is decidedly not the direction Lucas intended for the character as laid out in Return of the Jedi. Of course, given the whole Jedi non-attachment doctrine he laid out in Clones, neither she nor Luke could ever have families anyway.

Finally, Luke, one of my favorite characters. I really don't need to see Mark Hamill as a wizened Yoda figure, since I can already see it in my head so clearly. It would be fun, but for me, actually a little redundant.

Which brings us to the main reason for this post: do we really need any more Star Wars films? The rabid fan boy in me is screaming "YES! OF COURSE!  WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING!" But given the Saga as a whole, are there any more stories that need to be told? We have seen the fall of Anakin Skywalker, and we have seen his redemption. Anything further would mean that one of the classic trilogy characters falls to the Dark Side in one way or another — a possibility I am vehemently against, dramatically  — or the drama would have to come from offspring. I do not need to see a movie about Jacen and Jaina Solo — I'm not even sure that they exist, outside of Timothy Zahn's imagination. I do not need to see the characters that made Star Wars work to begin with relegated to sidekick status in someone else's story; although seeing Luke in the New Hope Obi-Wan Kenobi role would be fun. And most especially, I do not need to see the characters become caricatures of their former selves, a la William Shatner's Kirk. 

So if there are to be new films, which I very much doubt, they need to be done for the right reasons, dramatically. They need to fit in with the existing movie canon. There needs to be a real reason to make them, and a real story to tell. If so, I'll be the happiest man on the planet. But I do not think these films need to be made, save for the fact that they would add to George's already abysmally deep pockets. 

I will be returning to work tomorrow, so this may be my last post for a time. I have enjoyed writing these posts immensely, and I very much hope I'm wrong, and that I will continue to be able to dabble in this world. But my time is about to come under normal, human constraints, rather than the extended vacation hours I've been enjoying, and I don't know what the fallout will be yet. Hopefully, I'll see you soon.

A long time ago…

In my recent Internet wanderings, I have noticed a few articles pointing out that this summer is the 10th anniversary of The Phantom Menace being released. Just now, I stumbled across an article on Popcorn Monster by Dan Geer, listing his Top 10 Memories of Anticipating The Phantom Menace. Go check it out — I'll wait.

While I absolutely love the memories I have of waiting for the release of new Star Wars movies, particularly Revenge of the Sith and The Empire Strikes Back, I don't think anything can possibly match the buildup and excitement I felt at the prospect of seeing Phantom the first time. Think of it — the first new Star Wars movie in nearly two decades! Many people, me included, had given up on the idea of another movie. Then, one day, the announcement came, and the waiting began.

The hype around the new film was everywhere — you couldn't get away from it if you wanted to, which I definitely did not. In many ways, the anticipation leading up to the movie was more enjoyable than the film itself. I don't mean to detract from the film: unlike a lot of people, I love Phantom, warts and all. It has some great characters, despite the fact that George keeps them on a leash through most of the film. Qui Gon is one of the best Jedi knights I've ever seen, and who doesn't love seeing Obi-Wan as a student instead of a teacher? Plus, it has two undeniably great Star Wars action sequences: the pod race, and one of the best lightsaber duels ever put to film. What's not to like?

But what I remember most of that long-ago summer is not seeing the film, but the build-up surrounding it. To that end, then, I have decided to post my own list of favorite memories, both before and after the release of Phantom, in no particular order.

• The games — During the long wait for Phantom to be released on VHS tape, one of the best ways to feed your Star Wars addition if you had a PC was with several Phantom titles that were released immediately after the film. Without question, my favorite was Star Wars Racer, otherwise known as "podracer." It did a fabulous job of putting you into the cockpit of each of the podracers shown in the film, plus a few new ones. Set at locations across the universe, the courses gave entertaining glimpses into their respective worlds, and it was often fun to play just to look at the scenery of the course you were running. I miss it to this day. Another staple was the Insider's Guide to The Phantom Menace. In the days before the Internet (and believe me, this was), resources like The Official Site were limited in the content they could deliver over dialup lines. The guide gave us enough SW content to keep busy for hours, including a host of database-style entries about the film and enough Quicktime clips of the film to hold us until the movie came out on video. All of this for only $25 — worth every penny in my book.
• The trailers — One of my favorite memories is waiting anxiously in front of my VCR, hand poised on the "record + play" buttons, for the end of the TV show Entertainment Tonight, and its promised debut of the trailer for the new Star Wars film. From the first moment that the Gungan Army came out of the mist to the backdrop of "Obi-Wan's theme," I was hooked. An even fonder memory is dubbing a copy onto a spare tape, labeling it "Watch Me," and putting it in the hands of my father moments before he left for the Virginia home of my nephews. They had renewed my own interest in the Saga years before; this was my chance to repay them in kind. The only thing that would have made it better was if I had been able to sneak myself to Virginia in the bargain so I could watch it with them. Later, I spent nearly five hours downloading a copy over my dialup line, then watched it over and over again who knows how many times. I could write a whole post on how much mileage I got out this trailer: My excitement at hearing the voice of Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan for the first time; the way I enjoyed seeing the moment Anakin and Obi-Wan met; hearing Yoda's voice again. I still get excited about the film when I watch the trailer to this day.
• The magazines — A matter of hours after my daughter had been born in 1997, I was in line at Wal Mart. After the birth, I had gone home to nap and get roses for my two girls, and was getting some last minute sundries before rejoining my newly-minted family. And there, in the "impulse buy" rack, was an Entertainment Weekly dated with my daughter's birthday, adorned with Ewan McGregor's face, and labeled "Inside the new Star Wars." Naturally, I snatched it up on site, and I was able to read it at my leisure during the next two days at the hospital. I have always gotten a kick out of the fact that God gave me a new daughter and the knowledge of a new Star Wars trilogy on the same day. I still have the magazine hidden away in a closet with some other SW memorabilia, where it remains a priceless relic. Near it is an "Official Guide" to the film, which I bought in Virginia after seeing the film. What makes that special is that I wore the cover off of a similar "official guide" that I bought for the original Star Wars back in the day. In retrospect, I didn't get nearly as much out of the newer version, and it was quickly tucked away in a safe place. But it still gave me a nice sense of continuity with the original film.
• The toys — Star Wars toys were everywhere, and I couldn't go into a Wal Mart before the release of the film without getting massive spoilers. I literally would avert my eyes anytime I saw a display, and consequently, nearly walked into more than a few people in the weeks leading up to the film. It got so bad that I would go to the toy aisle and just stand there, not looking at anything, but wanting to be next to the wall of action figures because it brought me that much closer to the film. One of my favorite memories after seeing the film was getting to go into a Wal Mart in Warrenton, VA, and finally just being able to look at what had been released. Unfortunately, I was too vapor-locked at my new freedom to actually buy anything, but I was able to make up for that later in spades.
• The camaraderie — To no one's surprise but mine, I determined to make the trip to Virginia to see the film for the first time with my fellow Jedi — who at that time were simply my fellow fans, the foundation of our own Jedi order still being some days away. I have seldom been more excited than when I made my way up the Shenandoah mountains at 5:45 a.m. that day in May, 1999. My wife and daughter were asleep, the Empire soundtrack was on the tape player, and I was beside myself with the knowledge that the next day, I would finally be seeing a new Star Wars film. To my surprise and great delight, my nephews and I subsequently made an impromptu decision to see the film that very afternoon. The cashier at the theater took one look at the four of us, bedecked in brand new Star Wars t-shirts (a gift from my sister), and said "Let me guess — you guys are here for The Mummy, right?" Once the film started, I remember my nephew, the Veiltender, watching me as my eyebrows raised at the first mention of "my young padawan" — the first time I'd ever heard that new tidbit about the Jedi. The film unrolled slowly, a contrast to the urgency and excitement I'd felt before. As the credits began rolling, they asked me what I'd thought of it. "I didn't want it to end," I said. Ten years later, I still don't.

Greetings from Tatooine!

Well, as I predicted, we're in full Star Wars mode this week. What can I tell you — a visit from Henri does that to me. I only wish he were still here to enjoy it. For that reason, visitors may find that this blog is temporarily reverting to the reason I initially started it in the first place; namely, a chance to vent about Star Wars. If you're not in the mood for that sort of thing, best skip a bit. Also, this post tends to be a bit on the negative side, so if you're not up for that right now, move along.

That said, I stumbled across an interesting tidbit about the Expanded Universe that I absolutely had to pass along to my fellow Jedi. I was browsing Wookiepedia yesterday, and for some reason was delving into the background of Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy. For those who know me, or who have stumbled across my review of the first book in the trilogy on Goodreads, you'll know I pretty much despise Zahn's take on the Star Wars universe. His characters are near-godlike in their abilities and foresight, making Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Princess Leia — who, before the Expanded Universe stories began, were once the heroes of the Star Wars universe — look like half-witted buffoons who are lucky enough to hang out with said main characters. Or unlucky enough to find them as adversaries.

This is a frequent complaint of mine about the EU novels, but Zahn originated the idea of the near-infallible EU character. He also spends a great deal of time trying to get the reader to share his delusions. Most of the time, he spends so much time telling us how great Grand Admiral Thrawn is, I half-believe the character is a real person who hired Zahn as a PR flack. The worst offender in my memory is when Wedge Antilles, one of Henri's favorite characters, ruminates on how the battle of Endor might have been different, if only Grand Admiral Thrawn had been there (cue scary music).

He also has the habit of making a lot of Rebel Alliance coalition members seem dirty and unlikable. In Return of the Jedi, Mon Mothma mentions the heroic Bothans who died getting the information about the second Death Star. After Zahn finished "fleshing out" the Bothans, they are so shifty, underhanded and downright unsympathetic, I found myself being deeply sorry that more of them hadn't been killed. I can, in all seriousness, name at least three Imperial officers from the movies that are infinitely more likable than all of Zahn's Bothans put together.

To polish things off, Zahn is so afraid of the Force as a dramatic device that he created ways to make it not work. He created the Ysalamiri so that Grand Admiral Thrawn could have a cocoon of invulnerability to the Force — essentially, Jedi kryptonite. He also created a predator, the Vornskr, who hunt the Ysalamari using the Force. I still haven't figured out how the Vornskr were able to cultivate the ability to use the Force while evolving on a planet that is essentially, because of the Ysalamiri, Force-dead, but nobody else seems to have a problem with it, so who am I to criticize?

Sorry. Tangent. Won't happen again. For this post, at least.

One of Zahn's creations was a Jedi Master named Joruus C'baoth. We later find out that he's an unstable clone of the original C'baoth, and as luck would have it, quite insane. He essentially fills the role of "evil Dark Force user" since Darths Vader and Sidious are no more. Like most of Zahn's characters, he's pretty much insufferable, and I remember hating his character only slightly less than Thrawn, albeit for similar reasons.

During my research yesterday, I discovered that Zahn had originally planned C'baoth to be an insane clone of Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is pretty much the last nail in the coffin for me with Zahn; you don't take the beloved mentor and turn him into the bad guy. The fact that Zahn wanted to do just that to give the book a little more oomph speaks volumes about him as a writer, Hugo award or no Hugo award. Like the Bothans, it ruins whatever good feelings you may have had about the character. As a literature device, it is on a par with making Han Solo a wife beater, or Luke a drunk — it has dramatic impact, but it is a cheap bit of sensationalism that has no respect for the integrity of the characters as they have been already shown.

The other important thing I discovered yesterday was that the only reason he didn't use the Obi-Wan clone idea was because George Lucas stopped him. Let's stop and think about that for a moment: the man who a lot of people blame for ruining Star Wars with the prequels stopped Timothy Zahn from turning one of the most beloved characters in the Original Trilogy into an evil and psychotic plot device for his own selfish ends. So the next time we start to bad-mouth George for his numerous (and somewhat valid) sins again the Franchise, let's remember that he was once a force for good.

As an epilogue, I have been mulling the idea of putting where my mouth is, and writing some Star Wars fiction of my own. If I decide to do it, I would take only the established six films as canon. This might teach me some respect for Mr. Zahn, who, to be fair, had the enormously intimidating job of adding on to a legend not of his own creation. I haven't come up with anything yet, but the wheels are starting to turn in that direction.

That's all for now, campers. I promise, I'll have some fun Star Wars content in my next post.

Return of the Jedi

I was graced this week by a visit from my former padawan, Henri Magee, and his wife. Henri is the most fervent Star Wars fan I know, and just being around him makes me remember what it is that I love about the saga.

From Blogger Pictures

This visit was no different. While we attended a screening of Star Trek during his visit (just as awesome the second time, I'm happy to report), and did some unexpected geeking out on Civil War history (like where exactly Henri's wife's great-great-grandfather fought the Yankees at Shiloh), the thing I will take the most from the visit is the return of my interest in Star Wars. Part of this came from a partial, interrupted viewing of A New Hope, but part comes from two long and utterly enjoyable sessions of Star Wars: Battlefront II. Nothing like running around blasting battle droids with a good friend to make you remember why you became a Jedi.

As I often do, I now realize far too much time has passed since I have watched the trilogy. And while the attempt to see the trilogy again with my fellow Jedi fell flat, as it often does, I don't doubt that I will finish the full saga, and soon. My latest padawan learner, aka my daughter, has noticed deficiencies in her Star Wars knowledge, and just a week ago said that we needed to watch some more Star Wars together. Since she admitted she didn't know who Lando Calrissian was, I think I know a good place to start. After we finish where we left off with A New Hope, of course.

I think it's going to be a fun couple of weeks. I'll keep you posted.

Out of the frying pan…

Now that the suspense about whether or not the new Star Trek film will be any good has been resolved (well, for me, anyway), now is the perfect time to start worrying about the latest new movie that threatens a cherished part of my past. I speak, of course, of the new Guy Ritchie/Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes.

Now, on first blush, I would think that Downey would be an inspired bit of casting for Holmes; the right blend of edgy, comedic and ridiculously talented. He was great in Chaplin, rocked Iron Man, and is generally building up a fine body of work. He is, in my opinion, past due for one of those little gold guys they hand out every March in Hollywood. I just checked Mr. Ritchie's resume at IMDB, and I haven't seen anything he's done. I have, at least, heard of one or two of the films. So he is an unknown quantity at the moment.

Like a lot of people, I spent a chunk of my young adulthood devouring the Holmes stories. While the corpus of Arthur Conan Doyle's best-known creation is largely in my rear view mirror, I still have a warm place in my heart for the characters of Holmes, Watson, and yes, even Inspector Lestrade. So I naturally have been following news of this latest rendition of the Holmes classics, and was happy indeed when I stumbled across the new trailer for the film online.

I was a little less happy after actually watching said trailer. If you haven't seen it yet, by all means, go to the page on the Apple trailers site and give it the once-over before you read the rest of this post. Go ahead — I'll wait.

Hollywood is increasingly becoming a town built on formulas and recycled ideas, of which the latest is the "franchise reboot." It is a direct descendent of the "franchise" concept, which grew out of the sequel mania that followed Star Wars. It presupposes that the film will be popular and palatable enough to film goers for them to want to revisit the characters. When this is no longer the case, you do a reboot, and try to make some more money off of it.

In the reboot, you take a property that has been a consistent performer that has, of late, become somewhat stale and predictable. In other words, it's not making money anymore. Then you put a fresh coat of paint on it, cast all new actors, maybe spin it in a new direction, and drag all of the characters back to square one to begin their adventures again. Some very well done examples of the reboot include Batman, James Bond and Star Trek. All of these reboots were, in their first incarnation at least, extremely well done, critically acclaimed and financially successful, so it's a very hot concept in Hollywood right now. Especially because of the money part.

So its no surprise that one of the most popular episodic characters in all of fiction, and a strong box office performer back in the day, should now be dragged through the "reboot" machine. Downey is putting his own spin on the Holmes character, including repeatedly appearing with a three-day growth of beard (which I think is very un-Holmsian) and eschewing the famous deerstalker in favor of a black period hat (which I am completely in favor of — the deerstalker needs to die for the character to be taken as anything more than a caricature by modern audiences). As an actor, this is his right, nay, his duty, and I expect no less of him. We would not expect every Hamlet to be the same with each actor — that would be boring. Why then should we expect it of Holmes? I have every confidence in his abilities as an actor, and I still think he'll make a fine Holmes.

But just as Sir Basil Rathbone, arguably the greatest large-screen Holmes ever, had to contend with a comic-relief Watson and forgettable pastiche plots, Downey looks like his portrayal might be overshadowed by the modern Hollywood affection for action and explosions. The roughly two-minute trailer I saw featured at least one explosion, two scenes of Holmes kicking Victorian butt, some gun play, and a character who is ostensibly supposed to be Irene Adler prancing around in front of Holmes in her unmentionables (which both my wife and I think is preposterous). In other words, it seems to be trying to reassure modern audiences that they will have all of the elements they need in a good blockbuster — explosions, fight scenes and sex.

I would have been happier if I had some reassurance that the hallmarks of what the Holmes stories great — strong characters and mind-twisting puzzles — were present as well. For now, I'm just going to take it on faith that these will will be found amid all the fireballs and partial nudity, and hold my breath.

The good news is that the film in question debuts during the Christmas holidays, at a time when my fellow Holmes aficionado, the Veiltender, may be visiting. If so, he, my wife and I will have a chance to peruse it together. And, if I am any judge, complain about it together.

Because, tongue firmly in cheek, isn't complaining with loved ones what the holidays are all about?

Another seal of approval

Friday night I took Yvonne out for her Mother's Day present; she had wanted to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and told us both that was what she wanted for Mother's Day. Naturally, Amy and I were happy to oblige such a simple request.

Although we were both tempted to skip straight to Star Trek and see Wolverine on DVD, we stuck to the plan. I am pleased to report that although I don't think it's quite in the same league as Trek, Wolverine is a worthy addition to the X-Men film canon, and just plain old fun at that. I was never bored, Hugh Jackman carries the movie convincingly, and I genuinely got a kick out of some of the side characters — most especially Remy LeBeau. I have heard Yvonne speak glowingly about Gambit for years, but never knew what the fuss was about until now. I mean, really — how impressive can a guy be who's main power is throwing playing cards at people, anyway?

As it happens, pretty darn. Ably played by Taylor Kitsch, Gambit pretty much picks up the movie and walks away with it every time he's on screen. This is quite a feat, considering that most of his scenes are with Hugh Jackman — the guy who did the same thing every time he was on screen in the original X-Men film. Also particularly noteworthy is Liev Schreiber's Sabretooth. The movie would not have worked if Schreiber had not been as convincing in the role as he was.

So, we're two for two on summer movies this year. I'm doubly happy because, now that we've seen X-Men, the deck is clear for our second crack at Trek, which should take place sometime during Samuel & Aleatha's World Tour 2009.

After that, I don't care what I see. A third viewing of Star Trek, maybe?

I feel young

At 1 o'clock this afternoon, in a moderately nice theater in Martin, Tennessee, all of the waiting finally came to end. With my wife on my right side, and my best friend on my left, I was finally able to see J.J. Abrams re-tooling of the Star Trek mythos that I grew up with. I walked in hoping to like it — even expecting to — and praying that my wife would not have her own childhood too cruelly marred by this new treatment of a series that is beloved to both of us. I cannot adequately put into words what was riding on this film for me, and for my wife. And since you all know me, I'm not really going to try. Instead, I will simply skip ahead to the verdict.

Awesome doesn't begin to describe it.

I don't want to artificially inflate the expectations of those of you who haven't seen the movie yet, since all taste is subjective. But with that firmly in mind, I am happy to report that, for me, this film succeeds on a level that I hadn't expected. It could very easily be the finest Star Trek film ever made; I will need time and perspective, and a lot more repeat viewings, before I can tell. But the early results are promising.

Happily, I am not alone. Yvonne, who was almost afraid to see the film, was beyond delighted, I am happy to say. In fact, I believe she liked the film even more than I did; of course, I was so worried about whether or not she was enjoying it, it was rather like viewing the film with one eye shut. Now that I know we both loved it, all is right with the world, and I will be able to give the film my undivided attention on my next viewing.

Where to begin, and how much to reveal? On the latter point, not much; I will give away no spoilers here. I only ask that when you go see this film that you don't walk in with a lot of preconceptions, and you should do well.

Now, let me spend a few paragraphs talking about what was right with the film, and I will be off for tonight.

For starters, I hereby retract my comments on the new design of the USS Enterprise. As she is lovingly photographed in this movie, Enterprise is a beautiful lady indeed. Maybe it is the angles they chose; maybe it is the glorious amount of detail that is present in her every appearance. But I can honestly say I have never seen a better job of showing off the Enterprise in any of the previous movies. What we see here is not quite as lavish as the five-minute-long reveal she got in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. But pound for pound, it's at least second place.

As for the design, I still have some quibbles about how she looks from some angles, and it's still not my favorite of all of the versions of Enterprise. But as of this moment, all of that is cheerfully forgiven.

I am equally as impressed by the way the actors inhabit their characters; Pine is eminently believable as young Kirk, and Zachary Quinto's Spock is wonderfully complex. Bruce Greenwood's Pike more than lived up to my expectations, and, as anticipated, was one of my favorite parts of the film. Especially praiseworthy was Karl Urban's McCoy, in my opinion, although in point of fact, every single "new" actor did a fine job with their characters. It's not a recreation or pantomime of the original actors; the performances here are new. But at the heart of each performance are the characters we're acquainted with.

As far as the plot goes, I can only tell you that it picks you up at the beginning and carries you along without effort; the whole thing was over before I knew it. There is plenty of action typical to Star Trek. And at the end, all concerned have managed to pull off what I thought was impossible: Star Trek is back.

This movie, in my humble opinion, has managed what several previous additions to the franchise have attempted, but fell short of: they have recaptured some of the youthful spirit of the original Star Trek. By going back to square one with the original characters, and laying the foundation of the their relationships brick by brick, they have come closer to the first two seasons of the classic Star Trek that started it all than any of the other well-meaning efforts since then have managed. Some of it may not seem familiar, and not everyone may like it. But for me, there's no question. The series that I loved as a teenager has successfully been reborn. What I saw this afternoon has only whet my appetite. I cannot wait to see more.

Again, let me close with my usual caveat. The opinions expressed here are only those of one opinionated Jedi Master, and wannabe Starship Captain; your results may vary.

On a more personal note, let me say that the new round of shots, while more painful, have been extremely effective — as I write this, I am virtually pain-free, and am nearly as mobile as I was before I started this little adventure in indolence. Even if the treatments do not last long, I feel we have gotten to the heart of the problem, and that the end is finally in sight.

Add to that a very enjoyable Mother's Day weekend, and you have, all in all, one of my favorite weekends in recent memory. Hope it was the same with you. And, of course, Live Long and Prosper.

I hate waiting...

Doing some virtual pacing again tonight. The verdict from the surgeon, as I think everyone knows, is another type of shot. I leave for Nashville at 3:30 tomorrow morning. I greatly appreciate the support and prayers I've gotten up to this point, including the shout-outs on the last post from the Ohio contingent. I have a feeling of peace about it. Except for the nerves. Which, as I think about it, is perfectly normal. Needles. My spine. Oh, yeah — gimme some more of that.

As a reward for being a big boy, I am planning on seeing the new Trek movie with my wife and best friend the next day. Yvonne has made me aware that I may feel like twenty-five pounds of broken glass the next day, so I am forced to concede that it might be a later date. But I will see it as soon possible. And as soon as I do, I will, of course, let my loyal readers know if it meets my approval.

Until then, adieu.

The necessary preparations

I am keeping watch over my daughter as she stays up entirely too late with homework assignments, and trying not to think too much about the appointment with the surgeon I have tomorrow. Since I'm starting to dislike the fact that I'm only managing one post a month, and that being a rather drawn-out affair, I thought I might try shooting from the hip for a change.

I have achieved a milestone today. I have, for the time being at least, all 79 episodes of the the original Star Trek, as well as the first pilot, on my iPod. Not to mention each of the movies that I currently own on DVD as well. It's a dubious achievement — I mean, really, do you actually need the entire series? Can you possibly watch them all?

The easy answer is no. But there is a method to my madness. I am, by this time really excited about the new Trek movie, which as I write this, debuts in just a few days. In part, having the entire library of classic Trek makes it easy for me to "get back up to speed" on the original series. After so many years, there's a lot I've forgotten. Since I have a lot of time on my hands these days, it also gives me something to fall back on, entertainment-wise.

Also, as someone who used to be dependent on the whims of syndicated television for my weekly fix of Trek, there is something both decedent and powerful about having the entire series in my pocket at my beck and call. It's the iPod syndrome again, I'm afraid.

On a somewhat less pragmatic tack, it is also, in part, fanboy training. The days of work that went into loading the iPod was kind of a geek Mount Everest, and just the sort of senseless and time-consuming work I needed in order to feel like a "real" fan again. Because that's what real fans do — they spend time, money and effort on seemingly silly things, simply because it makes them feel like more of a fan.

Finally, and least logically, it is a good luck charm — a talisman of classic Trek to ward off the specter of what could be another Star Trek V — or worse. In any case, it was what I wanted to do.

And it seems to have taken my mind nicely off of the fact that tomorrow morning I am going to hear of the unknown and permanent things that a perfect stranger plans to do to my spine.

Here's hoping that both the back and the movie turn out well.

Spare no expense

A few days ago, I was writing an e-mail to my nephew who's a mission for his church, and I happened to use a title — Good Morning, Good Morning — that was a Beatles reference. This is nothing unusual for me; I was literally raised from a toddler on The Beatles, and they were hugely important to me during my days as a musician. Today, they hold an exalted place in my musical pantheon, and it's nothing unusual for me to drop a Beatles reference every now and then.

Little did I know I'd be predicting the future. That very morning, a very short time after the e-mail left my computer on its way to California, I got an e-mail of my own from none other than The Beatles. 'Cause, you know, we're just that close.

It seems the folks at Apple Corps. thought I should know about the long-awaited remasters of the band's catalog, which will be released on Sept. 9, 2009 (09-09-09). There will be complete remixes, in both stereo and mono versions, of all of the original releases, along with the singles collection Past Masters. There will be a full stereo boxed set of all the albums, including a DVD about the recording of each album, as well as boxed set of mono releases. The Beatles actually preferred to work in mono, and, according to my research, weren't involved in the stereo mixes. So not only is the mono version what the artist preferred, my readings also tell me that the next mono mixes reveal things that listeners may not have noticed before.

In addition to being a Beatles freak, I'm also a latent audio snob. If there's a chance that I can wring something new from a recording of a band I really, desperately love — in my case Rush and The Beatles — then I'm there. The CDs that we have now were released in 1987 (the year I got married), and represent state of the art digital remastering for that time. Problem is, it's been almost 22 years since "that time" — less than the time it took the 8-Track tape format to be introduced, become popular, and die a richly deserved death. I'm thinking that maybe they've learned a few things since then.

So the fact that I have to have these new recordings is a given.

For most people, this would mean buying the individual discs, especially if you don't have an oil well in your backyard generating a steady supply of disposable cash. And, in fact, I'm still slowly replacing my Rush CDs with remasters, and have about 9 to go. Those came out at least four years ago. So, any normal person would be content to buy one or two new discs a week, getting to know each new recording before moving on to the next.

Like I said, any normal person. But this is me we're talking about.

For some reason, I have it in my makeup that when it comes to something I truly love, I have to have the ultimate version of it. You say the boxed set has a few extra features you can't get elsewhere? I'm there. You say the mono set is being created for collectors, and will only be available for a limited time? Who do I make the check out to?

If I have my way, on September 9, or shortly thereafter, I will be the proud owner of both the stereo and mono boxed sets. Realistically, it may be after Christmas before I achieve both. Either way, economically, this is going to hurt — I don't spend such sums on myself lightly, and we are talking something that is going to cost hundreds of dollars. Since I've been off work for so long, we'll just be getting back to normal when this hits. So why am I doing this?

Because, for me, it's the right thing to do.

One of the things I have learned from my wife is that sometimes, doing the smart thing with money isn't necessarily always the right thing. My wife and I are far from millionaires. Heck, we're not even middle middle class. Yet we have taken two trips to Disney World — an enormously expensive place to hang out — in the past five years. Why? Because to us, the memories are more important than the money. Because our quadrennial pilgrimage to The Happiest Place on Earth gives us all something to look forward to, and to get excited about planning together. And because, long after my daughter has moved on to a life of her own, we will all three share the bond of what good times we had as guests of the Mouse.

I could, and probably will, devote an entire post to the subject of why I think Disney World is important, both personally and in general. Here, it serves to illustrate the point that sometimes you have to suck it up, and sink large sums of money into things that will only serve to make you and your family happy. Because, let's face it, few retired couples sit on the front porch having conversations like this:

HE: "Say, you remember all the groceries and household items that we bought instead of taking the kids to Disney World?"
SHE: "Do I ever! It took me five years to use all of the laundry detergent we were able to buy."
HE: "Yep. We had the cleanest sheets in three counties. And how about all that diet soda we bought? We were burping for a year!"
SHE: "Those were sure some good times."
HE: "How are the kids, anyway?"
SHE: "Now you know they haven't spoken to us since they moved out after high school."
HE: "Oh, how could I forget. Hey, pass the diet soda!"

I'm being extremely flip, obviously (a character flaw), so please forgive the sarcasm. And I'm not suggesting for a moment that money should not be used wisely and prudently; babyfood should always take precedence over a remastered copy of "The Essential Jimi Hendrix." But part of that prudence is occasionally using it for the simple task of making yourself and your family happy. My master, C.S. Lewis, was sharply critical of the puritan concept of denial for denial's sake, and wrote glowingly of the need to foster those things that give you honest pleasure. And who am I to argue with my master?

I do not covet this for the sake of that most elusive of goals — a "complete collection." Since I want these new sets for the genuine pleasure of listening to it, and the joy of rediscovering something that is of immense importance to me, then I am content that my motives are pure.

Of course, it's equally possible that six months from now, I'll be found locked away in a dark room, clutching both sets to my chest and whispering "my preciousss" to myself over and over. But that's a chance I'm willing to take.

The thin line between love and hate

In the past few days, there have been two vital bits of web flotsam that I have been moved by. Both involve the new Star Trek movie, and, between the two of them, they are giving me some very conflicted emotions about this re-imagining.

On the positive side, we have the new Star Trek trailer (images from which come from the ever-faithful trekmovie.com website). This is the third Trek trailer to be released, and they just keep getting better and better. Although nothing, for me, will come close to the anticipation and excitement I felt from seeing the two Phantom Menace trailers, this last Trek trailer punched all of my fan boy buttons big-time. Of particular interest was the first on-screen speech by Captain Pike, whose character has always fascinated me.

I already like this character. I want to know more about Pike, just from hearing a few snatches of dialog. Heck, at this point, they could move the Kirk character into the background, and give the movie to this guy. He looks like a starship captain, and he sounds like a starship captain. As it happens, way more than the new Kirk. But to be fair, the movie is about how Kirk became THE Jim Kirk, so we have to allow for some character development, I suppose.

Speaking of Kirk, another view getting a big fan reaction is our first glimpse of Kirk sitting in the captain's chair for the very first time. The center seat on the bridge has always been a powerful symbol for me, and I once had a beloved poster of William Shatner's Kirk sitting at his rightful place on the Enterprise's bridge. While I don't think this will be taking its place in my heart anytime soon, it's still a pretty cool moment.

Viewers should note that this screenshot is taken as Pine is completing the act of sitting down. So the fact that his head is lowered isn't an indication that he's nodded off on the bridge after a particularly vigorous shore leave. I thought I should point that out, since after all, this is Kirk that we're talking about.

(By the way, I'm assuming it should be patently obvious that I don't own any of the pictures or characters I'm putting up, don't pretend to, that they belong to whatever lucky corporate entity holds their respective copyright, and that I'm not making any money by using them to illustrate my rather rambling points. Pretty please don't sue me).

Anyway, I'm still in the dark how somebody as young as Chris Pine's Kirk gets to sit in the center seat when there are a whole starship full of people who seem to be at least as qualified, if not more so. But if I knew that, I wouldn't need to go see this movie. And, after seeing this trailer, I need to see this movie.

Mind you, I've been led astray by Star Trek trailers in the past. After Star Trek IV came out, I was panting for the next Star Trek movie. And when I saw the trailer for Star Trek V the first time, I was convinced it was going to be just as great as IV, if not better. Imagine, then, my disappointment, when I figured out that it had taken every interesting, exciting or funny moment in an entire two-plus hour film just to make a two minute trailer, and that the remaining umpity-ump seconds should have been left on the cutting room floor. Today, I feel about Trek V the way I feel about bad fan fiction. It never happened. There was no Trek movie between The Voyage Home and The Undiscovered Country.

So, there is precedent for disappointment, but until I am proven wrong by the actual facts, I will remain excited about this movie.

One thing that is already tempering my excitement, though, is this recent image gallery from Quantum Mechanix, which is a replica prop and model house I'm afraid I've never heard of. They were kind enough to post a series of views of their outstandingly detailed model of the new USS Enterprise, giving me for the first time a variety of different angles of this most iconic of ships. And, after a good long look by yours truly, the verdict is in.

I hate it.

I'm not usually one to talk badly about what I don't like about my fandoms. My disdain for the "Jar-Jar haters" is, or should be, the stuff of legend, and I have little patience for people who are supposed to like something, but instead spend all of their time complaining about what doesn't measure up. If you don't like something, that's fine, but don't throw water on my fire. And its possible that someone could find something to love about the new Enterprise. But that someone is not me. So if you don't want me to do that to you, now is the time to stop reading. And whatever you do, you should go to the gallery link above, and draw your own conclusion.

And, just for clarity's sake, the actual QM model is absolutely superb. It is the design the model was based on that I have issues with.

With those caveats out of the way, I can tell you that I only have three main problems — the nacelles, the primary hull and the secondary hull. Since these are the three principle components of the ship, that doesn't leave much left to like.

My biggest problems are the nacelles. The front domes (known as the Bussard collectors to us Trek engineering geeks) are grotesquely huge given the scale of the rest of the ship. Putting them so close together only accentuates this effect. In "Gung Ho," a Michael Keaton comedy about the auto industry, one of the Japanese workers describes a back-heavy 70s-era Chrysler as looking like "a fat American woman in stretch pants." Alas, that is similar to the feeling I get from looking at the new Enterprise's stern.

By contrast, the secondary hull would look sleek and graceful on any other ship. But with the almost-cartoonish look of the warp engines, it looks overwhelmed and out of balance. I say this as an admitted fan of bigger secondary hulls — a fact I will elaborate on in my promised, later post on my favorite Enterprise designs.

But back to this one. The best piece is possibly the circular, or primary, hull. This has historically been my favorite feature of the Enterprise's design. The new one is good, but is so similar to the movie Enterprise's primary as to be almost indistinguishable. The aztec detailing, raised phaser banks and identification fonts are strictly out of the first movie. I loved that design, mind you, but I was hoping for something new; not a re-hash of a thirty year old design.

Taken as a whole, the new ship looks like the movie Enterprise with a bad makeover; not a re-imagining of one of the most beautiful and iconic designs in the whole of science fiction. If I sound slightly miffed, it's because I am one of those fans to whom the Enterprise is one of the main characters. In my entire life, we have only been given six new variations of the original design. Considering how much I have loved some of the past versions, I must admit to being let down by this one. In fact, it may be one of the worst versions of the Enterprise yet conceived. And, for me, if you're going to get something wrong in a Star Trek movie, it had better not be the Enterprise.

I have heard it said that J.J. Abrams told the designers to take the movie and original series models, and combine them. If that's true, then I guess I know who to blame. Hopefully, this will be the only misstep the movie makes. And after some time to get acquainted, maybe the new proportions will grow on me. But right now, it's hard to get past the thought that somebody — maybe even a lot of somebodies — could have done a better job than this.

Time out

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Ain't it funny how time slips away?

I have been taken out of the race by a ruptured disc. By doctor's orders, I am laying on my living room floor, surrounded by books, DVDs and iPods, and watching a DVD of 101 Dalmatians.

Okay, so the doctor just told me to lay on the floor. He didn't say anything about the DVDs, or any of that other stuff. Oh, yeah, and he gave me drugs to take, and told me to stay here for two weeks.

Since I have been put in the penalty box for 14 days, I am going to try to catch up on my reading. This means studying my Bible, but it also means returning to my place in The Lord of the Rings. I had just arrived at "A Shortcut to Mushrooms" when I lost the track. My wife also wants me to follow her into the Twilight series. I am loath to pick up another series when I'm trying to make my way through Tolkien, and I've never been much for vampires. Still, I may humor her, just so she'll have someone to talk to about the series.

One of the blogs I follow, 2719 Hyperion, has a fascinating post on the myth that Walt Disney once owned the rights to make a movie of The Lord of the Rings. Of course, Disney never actually even approached the professor for the rights, after his story department (I think, correctly), told him that the story was too unwieldy for a feature film. Then there's the not-too-surprising revelation that Tolkien had a "heartfelt loathing" for Disney's treatment of fairy tales and faerie creatures.

As a lover of both Disney's and the Professor's works, I thought the post was fascinating food for thought. What would Disney's artists and storytellers have managed to create with the wealth of imaginative imagery present in the Professor's masterpiece?

A disaster, I am quite sure. Disney would have stripped Tolkien's story down to its barest bones, and slapped on the carcass his own unique artistic vision, leaving something that resembled Tolkien only superficially. P.L. Travers, who Walt wooed for years in an attempt to get his hands on her Mary Poppins stories, was, according to many accounts, heartbroken by the treatment of her story. The friction between Disney and Travers was well-documented, and somewhat nasty. The clash of ego and artistic vision that would have surely happened betwen Walt and the Professor during the creation of Walt Disney's The Lord of the Rings would been an epic battle the like of which the world has never seen.

In the end, I think we can all be grateful that such a battle never had cause to come to pass. Jackson's films, despite their flaws, are head and shoulders above anything that the Disney studios could have produced. The Tolkien books have too much detail, and too intricate a plot, for the Disney treatment. Nearly all of the classic Disney films that I can recall at the present were adapted from shorter fare — short stories and fairy tales. I don't think even a longer story, such as The Hobbit, would have fared well at all as a Disney film.

That's all for this week, campers. If you need me, I'll be here on the floor. Mind your feet, please.

The road goes ever on...

I was going to call this "Queer Lodgings," since I was reading that chapter in The Hobbit when I was staying in my daughter's hospital room. Happily, she has since been discharged, and I have since moved on all the way to "Concerning Hobbits" in The Fellowship of the Ring.

I have made several false starts on The Trilogy (note the allcaps) in the past decade or so, but I really believe I'm going to manage it this time. For a time, I believe I lost the ability to read. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but it really was quite hard for me to finish anything for a while there. It was demoralizing and depressing.

I don't know if it's the fact that I'm re-reading something I already know quite well, or if it's because I'm re-reading my favorite book of all time, but so far, reading The Trilogy been a delight. I savored every page of The Hobbit, and intend to do the same with Fellowship. It was about this time 32 years ago that I read the book for the first time, and the memories of that first reading are with me still. In fact, I was giving serious consideration to giving full vent to my nostalgia by listening to the same music I did then, and using my mint condition copies of the same Ballentine paperback set I read back then. Money to buy saidsame music made me chicken out on the former, and my hopelessly OCD personality made me chicken out on the latter (Eeek! Is that a crease in the cover?), but I'm remembering that time just the same.

In fact, I've already made a pact with myself to re-read the trilogy at this same time of the year prior to the release of the film version of The Hobbit. It's not quite Christopher Lee's "every year" discipline, but it's a start.

Stay tuned for another post on a completely different topic within a few days time — I'm simply too tired to manage it right now, and my bed is calling...

"Riddles in the Dark"

  Since I only have, at most, five readers, and since all of those readers have read The Lord of the Rings, I am going to feel free to post about my current attempt to re-read my absolute favorite book. Stranger, you are welcome here, but if you are a Tolkien neophyte, you have been warned.

  I have just finished "Riddles in the Dark," which has much to do with Bilbo, Gollum and The Ring. Although it comes early in the book, it is the chapter that has most to do with the larger story of The Lord of the Rings. What I did not realize was how at home the "Riddles in the Dark" chapter fits with LoTR. I had always thought Tolkien had added nuances of meaning to this chapter when he refered to it in LoTR that were not really present in The Hobbit. In other words, he was describing things that weren't really there. 

  For example, let us take the famous line from Gandalf to Frodo: "Pity? It was pity that stayed his hand." I had always imagined Tolkien was using Gandalf to add a shade of color that Tolkien hadn't foreseen when he wrote the original draft of The Hobbit, but that didn't conflict with what was on the page overmuch.

  I now see that I was wrong. Bilbo indeed had a chance to kill Gollum, but was stayed by exactly what Gandalf said: a surge of pity for Gollum's condition, and a reluctance to kill without need. Tolkien clearly writes:

"A sudden understanding, a pity mixed with horror, welled up in Bilbo's heart: a glimpse of endless, unmarked days without light or hope of betterment, hard stone, cold fish, sneaking and whispering."

  In this single sentence, Tolkien reveals Bilbo to have a depth of empathy that is surprising in one so dedicated to his own creature comforts — surprising to all but Gandalf, perhaps. In a lesser authors hands, or in the hands of one of our more violent modern-day scribes, Bilbo would have plunged Sting into Gollum's vitals — out of fear or revenge, perhaps — then skipped nimbly over the cooling corpse on his way to freedom. In this day and age, I daresay few would notice.

  It's certainly what James Bond would do.

  Instead, we see a "silly hobbit," who, in a flash of insight, sees beyond his opponent's attempts to thwart him, and is instead able to see his opponent's suffering. It is a moment of pure compassion, in the best traditions of the world's great religions. It is also a rarity in fiction, and in real life.

The Professor

  One hundred and seventeen years ago this day, John Ronald Ruel Tolkien was born to us in South Africa. Since I noted the great man's death a few months back, it is only fitting that I celebrate his birth here as well. Now if I can only remember to do the same for Jack when the time comes...

  The title today comes from a custom the Tolkien Society has of toasting the memory of Tolkien on his birthday. It is done in the tradition of British ceremonial toasting — one raises a glass of his or her preferred memorial beverage and says "The Professor" before taking a sip. I performed the ritual myself last night when it was about 4 a.m. in Oxford, and I will leave my choice of beverage to your imagination. For more information on the tradition, look to the Tolkien Society's Website here.

  Fittingly, I have (as most of you know) returned to reading Tolkien's classic, The Lord of the Rings, beginning with The Hobbit prequel. I tried The Hobbit about a year ago and found it unsatisfying for some reason. Happily, this time, it is a delight, and I am enjoying it very much. I am, at this writing, deep beneath the Misty Mountains with our hero, who is about to embark on a riddle game with a most unsavory creature.

  And now, if you'll excuse me, I hear my last day's cup of expresso calling me.

  The Professor!