Sunday, March 17, 2013

Exquisitely bored

I'm about to break one of my cardinal rules of the internet. Namely, never blog about religion, politics or technology; you'll just make someone mad. I'm breaking it because I just used 50 minutes of my valuable weekend time to watch the unveiling of the Samsung Galaxy S4, the new flagship Android-based smartphone.

Why did I, a documented fan of Cupertino-based technology, check out the competition? It wasn't to make fun of "the other guy," although Samsung certainly has no qualms about making fun of iPhone users like me. If anyone from Samsung is reading this, ridiculing people = not a great way to make them customers. For the record, I've been using Apple gear since 2005, and I've never once had to queue for it — of course, common sense, aided and abetted by my bank account, have cause me to wait for a couple months after product launches. I have also never bought a Samsung phone for any of my non-smartphone-using family, and hopefully, never will.

Despite the fact that I pretty much loathe Samsung, I decided to watch, Mostly, because I really do love new tech, and I'm always intrigued with what we can do with it. While economics and an extreme dose of common sense dictate that I limit my technology buying to one platform, I sympathize with, and am even a little jealous of, comedian Stephen Fry, who currently uses five different phones — a Samsung Galaxy III, a BlackBerry Z10, an iPhone 5, an HTC Windows 8x and an LG Nexus 4 — because he loves exploring the differences in their varied approaches and capabilities. If I had the deep pockets that he had, I'd be strongly tempted that way myself.

So that curiosity, coupled with an inexplicable interest in product unveilings and informercials, was one of the reasons I decided to watch. The other was that I'd heard that it was weird — "Samsung weird" — and was really curious what that entailed.

I came away thinking the event at Radio City Music Hall was a perfect illustration of the differences of approach between Apple and Samsung, the two undisputed giants of the smartphone trade.

For starters, there are the phones themselves. The new advances in the iPhone 5 are increasing the screen from 3.5 inches to 4, making it lighter and thinner, improvements to the camera and processor, and the addition of 4G LTE. There's also the addition of the panorama function on the camera. Great stuff if you own an iPhone 4 or earlier, but not compelling reasons for an upgrade if you own last year's 4S.

While I'm not as well versed on the Galaxy series, the S4 seems to be a similarly incremental upgrade: slightly bigger screen (from 4.8 inches to 5 inches), more megapixels on the camera, faster processor, more internal RAM, and so on. Again, good news if you're in the market for a new phone, but not a vast improvement over the S3, from what I'm led to believe.

To differentiate the new phone, Samsung has piled a series of features on it. Things like being able to pause a video by just looking away from the screen. Or scroll by gesturing at the screen (called, I believe, air gestures). Or a built-in translator app. Or a built-in pedometer, thermometer and barometer. Or the ability to share the song you're listening to with other S4 users (one would be the left channel stereo, another right channel, etc.)

Very few of these strike me as either practical or useful. For example, the scrolling gestures are done, not with short, quick Jedi-like hand flicks, but with broad arm swipes that look kind of silly, and not as efficient as just tapping the screen. I seldom have call for translation services, and while I know a few people that have my make and model of smartphone, the times when we would want to kick out the same jams are almost non-existent. In the end, it seemed like Samsung was adding more stuff, not because it was something people needed or wanted, but just for the sake of adding more stuff. Some of the reviews I've read have pretty much nailed what these features are good for — used once or twice to show off the new phone to coworkers, then forgotten about. It is, as I said, more for the sake of more.

The product launch was absolutely a demonstration of this philosophy. As an Apple follower, I'm used to product keynotes being emceed by one guy — typically the CEO — who brings on department heads to help explain features or products; Steve Jobs bringing out then iOS-head Scott Forstall to demonstrate iOS 4, for example.

Photo from The Verge
Samsung had two emcees: an actor, and the company's head of marketing. One would have sufficed — preferably, the marketing guy, who actually talked specifics about the phone, while the actor provided asides.

These were aided and abetted by a top executive who's title escapes me, a full orchestra, and a cast of about ten who demonstrated how the phone was going to make your life easier by using a series of flat jokes and ostensibly amusing stereotypes, including a lady who could benefit from air gestures because she didn't want to put down her drink (CNET's Molly Wood has a great rant on how sexist the whole thing was here). Again, the whole over-the-top production number seemed to be more for the sake of more.

To be fair, Apple sometimes leans too far the other way where the products themselves are concerned. While the iOS interface is unfailingly intuitive, there are times when I wish I had a tad more control over things: at the top of that list is being able to change the resolution of YouTube videos myself instead of having it done for me depending on my internet connection speed. But I can think of very few features built into the iPhone that I haven't picked up and run with at some point (at the top of the list is Passbook, an electronic ticketing app that I'm still waiting for companies I actually use to adopt).

At the end of the day, I think it comes down to a question of focus. Apple often talks about developing products by looking at them from the perspective of the user — keeping what is useful, and discarding what is not; Samsung, on the other hand, seems to be throwing features and technologies at the wall and hoping they'll stick.While both have apparently made a very good phone, I know which approach I prefer.

The good news for everybody is that either of these devices are absolutely amazing, multi-faceted wonders that would have been unimaginable when I was born, and that are now becoming quite commonplace. Matt Honan of Wired did a piece when the iPhone 5 debuted called "The iPhone 5 is Completely Amazing and Utterly Boring"in which he says that, while the iPhone 5 is an amazing device, it's an evolved product that is now commonplace. It's still quite cool, but it's also the latest version of old news. Which means that this pocket computer/gps/video recorder/gaming device/media player/e-reader/digital camera/cellphone I carry around that makes the communicator from Star Trek look crude is now an everyday object. And that, in itself, is extremely cool.

(By the way, Honan's latest piece came out Friday. The title? "The Samsung Galaxy S4 is Completely Amazing and Utterly Boring." A nice way to keep the trolls on both sides happy, and a nice elaboration  on the themes he explored in his piece on the iPhone).

I am becoming more and more convinced we are living in the future we used to talk about when I was a boy. Yesterday, my parents and I talked to my sister and my niece using Apple's Facetime videoconference app on an iPad. We had a face-to-face conversation across 1,800 miles using a 10-inch sheet of glass and aluminum about as thick as my little finger. My sister touched a screen on one side of the country to make the call, I touched a screen to answer, and the technology did the rest.

When I leave work, I routinely push a button, and tell my phone to send a text message to my wife that I'm on the way home. It transcribes what I've said, knows who I mean when I say "my wife," and sends her a (mostly) accurate version of what I just said.

At one time, I thought this was pretty amazing stuff, and it still is. But increasingly, though, it's just the way things work. Like the car, and the airplane, and the phone, and the computer, the smartphone is becoming commonplace. The same phone that millionaires and software designers carry can also be found in the hands of schoolteachers, shopkeepers and grandparents.

Personally, I think that is completely amazing, and not the least bit boring.

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